Am I putting my SP on a pedestal?

Putting SP on a pedestal is one of those phrases you hear a lot in the community. Your SP is your specific person. The pedestal is the habit of placing them way up high, while you stand at the bottom and look up.

If you have ever thought "they are so out of my league" or "why would they ever pick me", you have met the pedestal. Good news. It is just a story, and you can climb down from it today. Or better, invite yourself up.

What it means to put your SP on a pedestal

A pedestal is a stand that holds a statue up high. People look up at it. They do not sit next to it and share fries.

When your SP is on a pedestal, every little thing they do seems huge. A like on your post feels like a gift from the sky. A slow reply feels like the end of the world. They become the prize, and you become the one hoping to win.

Here is what nobody tells you. They are not up there because of who they are. They are up there because of how you see yourself.

Signs you are doing it

You might be putting your SP on a pedestal if some of these sound familiar.

• You think they are perfect and you are lucky they even know your name.
• You feel you need to change a lot about yourself before they would want you.
• Their mood decides your whole day.
• You replay everything you said to them, looking for mistakes.
• You call them "out of my league", even as a joke.
• You feel nervous just picturing a normal day with them.

None of this makes you wrong. It just shows the story you have been telling about you. And that story can change.

You do not bring them down. You see yourself up there too.

Why it makes the wait feel harder

When someone is above you, being with them feels far away. Your mind says it would take a miracle. So every day you assume distance, and the 3D, which is what you can see around you right now, keeps showing distance back.

It also makes you hungry for signs. You wait for any crumb of proof. Then you check, and check, and check. Your whole mood rides on a screen.

Compare that to how you feel about your favorite coffee order. You do not wonder if the cafe will ever give it to you. You just expect it. That calm expecting is the feeling of being level.

How to bring yourself level again

You do not bring your SP down. You do not need to focus on their flaws or decide they are bad. That only swaps one story for another heavy one.

Instead, you rise. This is your self concept, which is how you see yourself. Start telling yourself the truth.

1. I am worthy of being loved, just as I am today.
2. I am a great catch. Anyone would be lucky to be with me.
3. Being with my SP is normal. It is just my life.
4. They are lucky to have me, and I am lucky to have them.

Say these on repeat. It is fine if they feel strange. You do not have to feel them yet. Repetition sets them in. If you want more help, read about self concept for love and how to feel worthy of your desires. The Self concept 101 course goes deeper, one short lesson at a time.

A new story about you two

Picture a plain, ordinary moment. You are on the couch together. One of you is scrolling. The other is complaining that the show you picked is too slow. Nobody is above anybody. It is just the two of you, being normal.

That is the feeling you want. Not fireworks. Normal.

And if your mind keeps circling back to them all day, that is fine too. There is a gentle post on how to stop obsessing over someone that helps you rest. You might also enjoy the SP manifesting style quiz to see how you tend to think about your person.

You are not hoping to be chosen. You are already chosen. Sit next to them. You belong there.